| wow |
[05 Jan 2005|02:15am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 took my meds a while ago |
] |
| [ |
music |
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nothing - it is dead quiet here. |
] |
I have not written anything for a while. I should but I'm very tired at the moment.
I'm not going to start college until at least the fall. I can't right now, not knowing where Seth will be working and where we may end up moving to. I'm not going to enroll in a college in one city, then move across the Twin Cities to a new place and have to make a long commute just to go to school. I do hope we stay in this area, though...College of Visual Arts is my first choice. We shall see what happens. Poor Seth is just upset about the whole thing. I can understand why - he has it very good where he is now. The environment is so casual. I am hoping he gets into something a lot better, though. I think he will.
I took my meds a while ago, but I've been reading so much stuff online from all of my friends and places that I volunteer at that I lost track of the time and now I have to go lie down and SLEEP. I will post more tomorrow - promise.
I keep craving a cigarette and still, no smoking. Not one single puff. Yay for me. I am going to try to NOT chain smoke at the casino on Saturday, but knowing me, I'll probably slip up. Especially since we're bringing 4 bottles of Asti and all the martini fixin's I can throw into a bag - our suite has a refrigerator and wet bar. :) I can't wait!!!
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| kind of numb... |
[29 Dec 2004|01:21pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
My husband just found out today that his department at his company is being outsourced and that the entire department is being laid off as of March 15th. I know it'll be okay, that he'll be getting severance pay (at least that's what they're THINKING) and we'll be alright, but it really sucks. I feel so bad for him, and for my Mom, who is his BOSS in the same department! I know my Mom doesn't NEED the money, but she loves to work, and she's probably very sad that she's losing her job. Everyone really liked it there - it was a casual environment, everyone liked each other - blah. I feel bad for my husband, because he worked his ASS off to get to where he is, only to have his job taken from him. We thought everything was so secure where we were at, and that we were going to be able to move. Now I think we'll have to extend our lease here for at least another 6 months. :( I'm very bummed out.
At least I'm very resourceful when it comes to being in a crisis situation, so I am not scared of anything bad happening to us. It just all sucks. I don't even feel like sitting in front of the computer today.
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| GOOD GAWD PEOPLE.... |
[18 Dec 2004|04:16pm] |
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mood |
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 It's the holidays!! |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Umm...HOLIDAYS MUSIC!! |
] |
Work your holiday angst out of your system before you even come close to me. I don't need to deal with your crappy attitudes. I'm actually trying to have a nice holiday. Why some people get all nuts in the head this time of year is BEYOND me. Everyone take a deep breath, slap a smile on your face, and maybe even have someone spike your eggnogg. Just take your shit attitude somewhere else.
Ahhhh...now that I got that off my chest, LET THE HOLIDAYS BEGIN!!! :)
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| productive me |
[15 Dec 2004|03:11am] |
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mood |
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basking in the ELO bliss |
] |
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music |
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"Strange Magic" - ELO |
] |
I did productive things today and I'm actually proud of myself. Things I have been neglecting for a while were finally done today. I finally canceled my AOL account - I know, it's about DAMN time. I had to get nasty with the dude over the phone - they are such assholes there. They try and try and try to sell you on their stupid service, and I kept telling the guy that I just wanted to cancel. Instead, he tells me he has a job to do and he needs to go on with doing his job by reading me all kinds of crap about how having AOL is like, going to save my life or something. Like my computer will just blow up if I don't have AOL and all of their new virus and firewall software. I told him I'll just listen to his stupid schpeil and hum while he talks. He goes on about the virus protection, I interrupt and say, "Listen, I'm not a god-damn Internet moron like most of your customers are. I never even used the stupid piece of shit browser that came with your crap software. I'm not an idiot - I already have plenty of virus software and a firewall, thank you, and I didn't need the jerks at AOL to hold my hand and give it to me." Pause. Then, "One moment, ma'am, while I cancel your membership." Now I hate to be rude to customer service people, because I was in customer service for a long time, and I did a DAMN good job at it, too. If someone told me, "Look, I'm not going to be sold on your shit so just cancel my membership", I'd do it right away. Number one rule in customer service - the customer is always right, and a lot of these assholes don't get that shit. They just want to play high and mighty with you on the phone, well guess what? I play that game right back.
I actually worked on my website today. I added fanlistings. Yippee, right? Hey, at least I got *something* done.
I called the insurance company and postponed the automatic withdrawl on the insurance. It's over $200 and we need that money right now - we paid off a bunch of bills, went crazy with Christmas presents, combine that with my shopping spree and major grocery shopping at the beginning of the month, and we are strapped for cash. Even our Hannukah Gelt went right into the bank. I told Seth I want mine back next month - I sure could use it to get something nice for myself. HAHA - I'm so greedy. Well, actually, Seth should take his and get himself a nice shirt, like his Grandma wanted him to. He always ends up buying some $100 shirt though. He's a kook, but he's MY kook, and I love him to pieces.
Poor Elijah has a cold. He took his first step all by himself on the 13th! I saw the whole thing and almost started bawling. I squealed and it scared him and he dropped onto the floor. He likes to hold onto our pantlegs and walk around with us - it should be only a matter of time. I can't wait - he's getting so heavy! Yet it seems like just yesterday I was sitting on my bed, staring at him in his cradle as he slept, wondering where he came from, what I did to deserve such a wonderful gift. He's the light of my life.
My little angel, taken on 12/14.
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| do not feel good. |
[08 Dec 2004|06:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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REM - Shiny Happy People (for nostalgic purposes) |
] |
I don't know what my problem is today. I'm extremely dizzy, light-headed, faint and sick to my stomach. I called a nurse to ask what I could possibly do about it, and she suggested maybe it was from a sinus infection. Ugh. Just what I need - more antibiotics. I just feel off.
Okay - so I suggested to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) audiene that she write a post about all of the fashion fads of our junior high/high school years. I promised her that if she wrote about it, I would too. So here they are, as I remember them. :)
My earliest recollection of a fashion fad I was involved in was Guess? jeans in elementary school. You were NOT cool unless you wore Guess? jeans. It was such a big thing that when I got my pair, my neighbor friends didn't talk to me for a while afterwardsout of jealous. Stupid little girls *laugh*
Sixth grade into seventh grade, we were teasing our bangs. We usually wore the front half of our hair back in a high pony-tail, curled and teased, then teased our bangs as high as we could get them. This was commonly known as "mall hair". Esprit clothes were the big thing - some girls had to wear a piece of Esprit every day. Stirrup pants were a big thing - a long t-shirt, stirrup pants and dress flats and you were hot for an 11-year-old.
In seventh grade, we still teased our hair, but now we teased it out from the sides of our faces. I would hold my hair out with a brush, spray it with hairspray and run the blow-dryer over it to get it hard and BIG. Hairstyles like this required a lot of time, so getting up at 6am was not a big issue. Then the style went to something different - we pulled the top half of our hair back FLAT and held it with a barette, then did the wings-thing on our hair. Combine this with big hoop earrings, lots of make-up and a blue and white striped sweatshirt from Express and I was the SHIT of the school.
We also pinned our jeans or tight-rolled them, like Audiene did. When we tight-rolled, we didn't wear any socks and wore loafers, usually Esprit ones, unless we were wearing our BK's (British Knights). I hardly ever pinned my jeans, but when we did, we would pull big fluffy socks over them. I had a white pair of Guess? socks that I did this with.
We had shirts that were waist-length in the front, but long in the back, usually past your butt. We also had these weird jeans that I have no idea how they became so fashionable. They were from Express, and high-waisted, of course, as that was the fashion. However, they had these triangle-shaped flaps that folded over the front of the waist. One side had button-fly buttons on it, the other side had the button holes. Now that I think about it, those jeans were probably the ugliest thing that I ever wore.
In ninth grade, Express started making these outfits that were absolutely adorable. The top was a cute, heavy sweatshirt-like top and the bottoms were stretch-pants. I had one of these in green that looked like a pullover hoodie, and a brown one that was more dressy - the top looked almost like a dress. I loved those outfits - when will those come back in style?
Tenth grade through senior year is a fashion blur to me because I was not very "fashionable" anymore. I followed the "alternative" crowd, and began wearing cut-off shorts, various "alternative" band t-shirts, ripped tights and Doc Marten boots. I started caring about my looks again when I was a senior, as I was tired of being part of such a slacker crowd. I started wearing clothes from Contempo, as well as my Salvation Army fare. I wore old, ratty cardigan sweaters, t-shirts, baggy jeans and cords, Converse All-Stars or Doc Marten shoes, and the ESSENTIAL flannel shirt of the time, as this was the height of the "grunge" period. Not to mention my cute
I went through all of the fleeting fads, too: Generra hypercolour t-shirts, Benneton clothes, B.U.M. shirts, big-logo college sweatshirts, jelly shoes, jelly bracelets, cross earrings and necklaces (not to mention that whole "Madonna-Like-A-Virgin-Years" fashion fad), big bows in our hair, jean jackets, small knit peek-a-boo sweaters, Cross Colours, Drakkar for the guys, clock necklaces and handbags (I still have my big red clock handbag, and the clock still works!), dark indigo Girbaud jeans, Minnetonka Moccassins, Baja jackets, what else???.
And finally, last but not least, the biggest fad I will always remember is the Valley Girl talk. In sixth grade, after Jennifer on "Family Ties" went through her Valley Girl stage (remember that episode? lol), we all came back to school talking like that. I remember one of my teachers yelling at a friend of mine because she said the word "like" 23 times in a speech she had to give.
So there ya go! Long but it was fun to reminisce. :)
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| drowning in chaos |
[02 Dec 2004|02:47am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 I am coo coo for air freshener |
] |
| [ |
music |
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New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle |
] |
I had one of those "Calgon take me away" days again today. My apartment was a horrible disaster due to me cleaning. When I clean, the mess gets worse before it gets better. I had crap all over this place, just strewn about, and I was sorting garbage from to-file stuff from magazines from stuff to put away. Elijah was crawling all over me - it was "no tv" time, and he was going berzerk, bouncing off the walls. He's pulling on my ponytail, yelling at the top of his lungs, chasing the cat into the kitchen, trying to sit on my head. I am trying to get the cat off of me when the phone starts ringing. I go to get up off the floor to answer it and Elijah finds my well-hidden glass of Coke (BAD KERRIEANN) and dumps it on the carpet. The cat bites me, the phone is still ringing, Elijah is playing in the Coke on the floor as I am scrambling to get something to wipe it up, the floor is a mess, and I'm just about to start screaming. He starts crying and I said, "that's it. Time for a nap." Took him to his room, put him down for a nap, took the cat and locked her in my bedroom. I went and sat in the dark in my bathroom to have a Zen moment. It wasn't enough. When my husband came home, he occupied Elijah while I got the rest of the cleaning done. Afterwards, I had a little chat and went to take a bath. I lit a candle, turned the classic rock station on quietly, filled my tub with hot mineral bath and soaked with my eyes closed. I drifted off in a wonderful Alpha-state trance, and almost fell asleep. I woke up and the back of my pulled-up hair was wet. I'm afraid of falling asleep in the tub. My Mom does it so much, you can't borrow a good book from her because she always drops them and they end up 40 inches thick. HAHA reading in the tub...reminds me of Audiene. :)
I have a TON of things to do tomorrow and Friday. Pay bills, order new checks, update xmas lists, order our family holiday cards (with an adorable picture of Elijah on them!), get cards to send out to the Mews and other friends, and MAJOR grocery shopping on Friday. Then Friday night I am going out with two of my sister-in-law's for dinner, drinks, dancing, whatever comes next. Hope we can get in some karaoke - I really miss singing on a regular basis. I need to go out more. My sister agrees wholeheartedly - I am not the party animal I used to be. I just don't have the energy anymore! Not to mention the high liquor tolerance I once had. I end up being Designated Driver. Which I gladly do. :)
Speaking of grocery shopping, okay I probably sound like a dork-mom but Super Target rules. Only the produce isn't so good at the one by my house....it beats Simon Delivers though, and the prices are lower than Simon AND Cub. They have people to bag your groceries which is good for people with disabilites like me - bagging groceries gets exhausting on my arms (where the worst of my Fibro is) and makes the arthritis in my hands hurt. Hot damn I sound like someone's crusty old grandma. That's horrible. I'm only 28.
Speaking of my hands hurting, I want a new electric piano for xmas. Seth said he would like one, too - the kind that lights the keyes and teaches you to play. I want to be able to play songs for Elijah, but I don't want a big bulky piano - we don't have anywhere to put one. Oooh playing on a piano for a while makes my hands burn and cramp up but I don't care. :) When we buy a house, it has always been a dream of mine to have a drumset again (I miss playing sooooooo bad) and a marimba. I also want a karaoke machine but I have a feeling I will be buying one of those soon - I miss living at Wayne's and singing karaoke every day. Well, that's one of the ONLY things I miss about living at Wayne's. *shiver* EEEEk...
I am obsessed with air freshener. Have I mentioned this before? I have a plug-in in just about every outlet in our house. A Wisp in the bathroom with the cat litter. My son has a Glade Fan in his room and we have the oil warmer in our bedroom and in Seth's bathroom. I love to have Glade candles burning, and I always have spray air freshener. I change it to the holiday scents this time of year. Yeah, I'm a freak - what of it?
I think the reason I like it is because I have a thing about smells. I can usually tell a girl what perfume she has on if I smell it. I am very nostalgic with my perfume - I smell it and become transported back to the times I was wearing it when something special happened. Guess? perfume reminds me of highschool and my friend Courtney and all of our antics. Benneton reminds me of my first trip to North Shore/Canada and buying duty-free Canadian cigarettes. Giorgio and Chanel #5 reminds me of my Mom when I was young, Tresor reminds me of her now. :) And you mention the word "Polo" in my family and everyone knows you're talking about my Dad - it's his signature scent. Last but not least, Exclamation - junior high all the way. Teasing and spraying our big hair, fixing our pancaked faces, and spraying on huge amounts of Exclamation in the girls bathroom. So I think I like to surround myself in nice scents a little more than the average person does. My favorite Glade scent is the Clean Linen - it smells like you just washed everything in your house with fabric softener. Even better is the All Fabric Refresher. I love to spray that on my blanket - it smells just like it came right out of the dryer. Ever since I became a home-maker, I have been kind of crazy about it. Not Martha Stewart crazy, but crazy. I love a nice clean fresh smelling house. :)
Okay enough of my boring cleaning story. My sleeping pills just kicked in and it's time to go live my other life for a while (this scary life I lead while i'm sleeping...not sure what to make of it...but more on that tomorrow). I hope this post does not leave you with the impression that I am a psycho, because I do not want the truth to get out. Ha.
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| I am dumb |
[01 Dec 2004|04:39am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 i forgot my sleepytime pills |
] |
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music |
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ABBA - What's the Name of the Game? |
] |
I forgot to take my sleeping pills so it's almost 5 am and I haven't gone to bed. How do you forget to go to bed? When you have a horrible memory like me, anything is possible I guess.
I got Seth to move his damn big box out of the kitchen so I can finish cleaning in there. I hate how small this place starts to look when we have boxes and tubs of stuff around. The building people cleaned out unclaimed storage lockers in our building, and I grabbed one of the empties. It's right next door to our apartment so moving stuff is a breeze. I will miss the convenience of this place - the laundry room is right across the hall, and the outside door is just down the stairs. The pool and weight room is right next door. What I won't miss is the loud bass at 3 AM, the constant yelling and slamming of doors, the presence of police every few days, the unsupervised children, the vandalism, and the sheer ghetto-ness that is the Polynesian. I had such good memories of this place before I moved in. What happened? It was a good starter place for Seth and I to live, but it's time to be movin' on up!
My birthday party with my parents and family was on Sunday. It is my Dad's birthday on the same day, so we always celebrate together. See? Right off the bat in life I got the short end of the stick - have to celebrate my birthday with someone else! Naw, I kid - it's a cool thing my Dad and I have.
We had wild rice soup, this pepperoni salad my Mom created, and awesome glazed chicken wings. She baked me a Jell-o cake - same one she bakes every year - that I absolutely adore. Most of my family members gave me money. My sister got me - what else - a gift card for Ulta, my second home. My parent's gift shocked me. Some time ago, I saw this pink tweed peacoat that I loved but I knew it was too expensive to buy. I told Seth I would really love it for Christmas or maybe my birthday, but I didn't expect him to spend that kind of money on me unless he had a bonus check or something. Instead, I opened a huge box from my parents and there was my coat!! I started crying - I never expected my parents to do that for me. Oh I think I started yelling, SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP first, then I cried. *laugh* Here's a picture of the coat:
I just love it. Right away I took my brooch off my fur-trim poncho and put it on the lapel on the left, over the button hole. It's such an adorable coat.
My Dad got all Harley Davidson stuff. Big surprise there. :) Except from me, of course. I wanted to be a little more original. I got him a Straightline laser tape measure. I thought it was a good choice since he is re-finishing the basement and wants to build a workshop for his bikes someday. He liked it. I'd like one, too. It's on my x-mas list along with a 50-piece Dremel set. Man, I sure could use that Dremel. I need to install child-proof locks on my cabinets and do not have a drill. With my arthritis, I cannot use a big power drill. Also it will be nice for finishing the beads I make - probably very handy in jewelry making a lot of the time. AND...you can get drill bits for them to use on artificial nails. Like I'd ever have my nails drilled again, but BA likes acrylics and I could do hers for less than the salon. Can't be any harder to do than it is with my small nail drill.
Seth is taking the Acura the rest of the week so I can have some quality time with the new car. I have not given the car a name yet. Perhaps I shouldn't - maybe that was the curse the entire time with my past cars. Or shall I say, past-cars-now-scraps-of-metal? *sigh*
Okay I need to try and get some sleep. Morning comes early nowadays - Elijah is waking up earlier to start his day and I don't like to deprive him of his exploration time. :)
PS: thanks for the great chat tonight, girls. I enjoyed it immensely. :)
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| sad... |
[24 Nov 2004|03:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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please stop hurting yourself |
] |
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music |
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Bob Marley - Iron Lion Zion |
] |
Doesn't it make you sad when you really like a person, then you all of a sudden find out something about them and it makes you very sad? But you know you can't do anything about it? *sigh*
Turkey Day tomorrow!! Turkey Day tomorrow!! I can't wait...
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| goddamnit |
[24 Nov 2004|12:18am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 go away kidney crap |
] |
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music |
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T Rex - "Thunderwing" |
] |
I wish all of this kidney crap would go away. It's getting old, and I just want my life back. I'm tired of it all. I had my stent out on Monday but I'm still having problems due to a kidney infection now. *sigh* I'll spare the details. I'm sure it's getting old reading about my never-ending health problems. It's just that I have no one in my life that I talk to about this - no one wants to hear about my health like I'm 80 years old, complaining about every ache and pain. I want to get back to doing Tae Bo and having energy and not having to take pain pills.
Speaking of taking pain pills, I went through withdrawls from them on Monday. I wanted to be done with them so I stopped taking them Sunday night. Monday I felt like a heroin junkie, getting off the smack. I had flashbacks of Trainspotting, Renton setting up his flat for going off the junk. I was shaking, chilly, sick to my stomach - it was awful. Now I'm back on the junk, man, back on the skag. This time, I'll take myself down slowly.
My birthday was great. Seth bought our new car that day. He brought home roses for me, and got us dinner at Chili's, which I love. His Mom and her husband gave me a check for $50 - I was shocked about that. BethAnn gave me some Hello Kitty stuff she bought at the Epcot Japan store when she was there. This Sunday is our party at my family's house - I say "our" because the 20th is my Dad's birthday, too. I talked to him tonight - he was out of town hunting with my brother on our birthday, so he couldn't call me. I'll see him on Thanksgiving anyways...
Speaking of my Dad, take a look at this:
My Dad
He belongs to this club called Crippled Old Biker Bastards. It's a support group for guys that wipe out on their bikes, to help them get back up and ride again. That's his story of his accident.
Thanksgiving will be GREAT. My Mom makes the best dinner in the world - a huge turkey, an old family recipe for stuffing made from scratch, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, dinner rolls - the works. My Grandma and Grandpa come and my Grandma brings an apple pie and a pumpkin pie that she baked, and fresh cranberries. Mmmmmm....plenty of leftovers, and I can hardly wait.
Elijah stood by himself for the first time on Monday. He was holding on to my pants, then just let go and stood there. Then he got down and crawled away like it was no big deal. He did it again tonight. It's not going to be long before he's walking, and we have to make sure everything he's not supposed to have is out of reach. *sigh* My little baby is growing up, and sometimes it makes me sad. But, it will be nice when he walks...carrying him up and down three flights of stairs when we need to go somewhere is getting old. I told Seth the next place we live, if we get another apartment, NEEDS to have an elevator. Hauling heavy objects up and down stairs is not my cup of tea.
Okay, a little more work on the website then I'm off to bed. Seth has the day off tomorrow, and I need to go to the doctor AGAIN in the morning. Oh joy.
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| the drama continues... |
[16 Nov 2004|05:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 I MUST EAT |
] |
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music |
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nothing...it's super quiet here |
] |
In the famous words of Bender, "I'm boned."
I had to go back into the ER at 2:30 this morning. The pain became overwhelming and I couldn't sleep. It hurt too much to lie down or change positions. I was bleeding even more than before and was starting to get a fever. I was very afraid that something was wrong with my stent, or it had become infected. The pain was so severe that I couldn't drive myself - I could barely walk. I called an ambulance, which was stupid because my husband could have taken me, but he didn't want to since he had to pack up Elijah and he wanted to sleep and blah blah blah. I'm so tired of getting an attitude when I'm sick like this but that's a different story for a different time. Anyways, they made me comfortable, gave me some Percocet to take home, and I took a cab back home. The cab driver pissed me off - he clearly has stickers on his windows stating that he takes credit cards, but instead he made me stop off and get cash. Whatever. We stopped at the bank near my house and he dropped me off at home. So here I am - not really that tired, yet if I don't get any sleep now, I won't sleep for a while and that could get ugly. Actually, I'm used to going on no sleep so I guess it won't kill me.
I'm hungry. Morphine always makes me hungry for some weird reason.
In other news, I had to delete someone off my AIM buddy list tonight. She pushed me too far on Sunday. It was someone from mewmew that I had kind of befriended because she was always nice to me. I try to be friends with anyone on the board, no matter what their age, as long as they are cool and nice. She did a few things a while ago that made me feel weird, but I brushed them off as "kid stuff". Then on Sunday, when I told her I had made a new layout for my webpage, she asked if she could see it. When I showed it to her, she picked it apart! She told me that it was too plain and that it needed more "stuff", then she proceeded to ask me why I used blue for my font color, when there was no blue in the layout. Okay, first of all, I LIKE the stuff I do. Sure it's nice when people tell you they like it, too, but unless it's someone whose opinion I trust and respect, I DON'T care if anyone else likes it. I asked four of my closest mewmew friends to look at it, and they all said they liked it. I KNOW one of them would have said something was wrong with it if there was something, but it's a pretty cute layout!
Regardless of if it's cute or not, it's just not nice to pick someone else's work apart. I could have easily done that to her in the past, but I didn't. Even when she had layouts that I didn't like. I just figure everyone has their own unique way of doing graphics and layouts and should be respected for the simple fact that they DO the graphics at all. Some people just steal their graphics or use other people's layouts. Using someone else's layout is just fine - nothing wrong with that - when you have the permission to use it. Hell, I'm making layouts for others to use if they want. It's just another thing to make your page entirely on your own, and I respect that. UNTIL, you stop respecting me. *end of rant*
Now for the good stuff:
I bought a whole bunch of cute cute stuff from kitty Sunday night. I was just asking her if she knew of where I could get some nice letterpads or large notepads, the kind that have a different design on every page. I use a lot of paper for notes, and find myself going through the paper in lettersets so much, that I have leftover envelopes. I have a whole cigar-box full of them! Well, next thing I know, kitty is taking pictures of stuff and I'm buying it all up. We thought the postage was $6.50 with Fedex, and it turned out to be $12!! Yikes. I can't wait to get it though!! *so excited*
I also won a few auctions on ebay:
Hello Kitty set
100 piece Hello Kitty lot
I also won a sack sticker auction for 200 stickers and some other misc. stuff but I can't find it.
I need to get some of my own stuff up for sale - give the mewmew girls first dibs on it, then put the rest up for auction. With that money, I'm going to buy wholesale from qoutlet and start selling on my own. I love love love kawaii stuff!!!
I need to mail some stuff out this week. I'm not telling what, because one or more of my LJ friends might be getting something in the mail! Hmmmm...who could it be? *grin*
That's all for now...I think I'll go sneak in a few hours of rest....or maybe just stay up, do some graphics and get McDonald's breakfast in a bit. :)
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| sudden attack of the kidney stone |
[13 Nov 2004|03:35pm] |
I knew in July that I had another kidney stone in my kidney. It wasn't bothering me back then.
Thursday morning I wake up with a strange pain in my right side. At first, I thought maybe I had pulled a muscle on my walk the day before. Or that it's just the Fibromyalgia flaring up. By 2:30, though, I was in some serious pain and I pretty much knew it was a kidney stone. My husband came home and took me to the emergency room. I got a shot of Morphine (which didn't really help) and waited to have a CT scan. I think the doctor I had thought I was full of shit (why? why would I go into an emergency room if I didn't need to? The hospital sucks!) until my CT scan came back and showed a stone blockage. They gave me a good shot of Dilaudid after they knew I was telling the truth (gay, huh?) and sent me upstairs. They didn't know if they would wait for the stone to pass, or if they'd just take it out. They kept me pretty comfortable on painkillers, but I wasn't allowed to eat anything since surgery was still an option. Friday afternoon, they decided to take the stone out. Coming out of the anesthesia, I remember telling the nurses that I had to go to the bathroom - which is what happens every time I have to go under. My urine was blood red. They told me it would be for a while, probably because of the stent I have in my ureter. I threw up a few times before passing back out. I woke up a little later again to some severe pain. They got my pain under control, I got to have a little bit to eat last night, and I slept until this morning when I went home. I did get to eat breakfast this morning, so I ordered everything I could. I also really shouldn't say I slept, because in the hospital, you don't sleep. Someone is always coming in to poke at you, or talk to you, or fix your IV, change your fluids, etc. It drives you nuts when you're drugged out, all you want to do is sleep because you don't want to think about your pain, and someone's trying to have a conversation with you.
So now is the time I have to cut back on how much Coke I'm drinking. It is also a hereditary thing in my family, as my sister has kidney stones too. My Grandma told us that my Grandfather used to have them, and I think my Dad has even had one. They're horrible - bad, bad pain. I've had worse pain from kidney stones than I did when I was in labor with my son. That's why I knew labor wouldn't be hard for me - kidney stones are far worse. You don't get an epidural with kidney stones, either. Nor do you get to take anything home with you, although I don't know what I'd do with a speck of sand in a jar.
It's good to be home with my family again. :) My brother's birthday party is tomorrow, and the ATHF t-shirt arrived. It's so super cool. It also came with some cool Cartoon Network goodies. I really hope he likes it. If he doesn't, I'll keep the shirt for myself! :) My Mom is making her famous sweet and sour chicken, and these wontons that are out of this world, but I asked her to not put shrimp in some of them for us, especially Seth and Elijah. Seth is trying to keep as kosher as he can.
Time to take some Vicoden and relax.
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| my little box of happy |
[10 Nov 2004|03:16pm] |
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mood |
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I got my stuff today. Thought it was about time I re-joined the real world and walked down to the office. On my way out my door, I see my neighbor going into her apartment. I have NEVER seen her go in there, and I've only heard her home once. I talked with her for a few minutes and found out a lot of interesting things about the people that live below her - everything from the "goddamned MARY-juana smokin'" *snicker*, to the police being called over there for fighting, to them burning a hole in the hallway carpet with fire-crackers while the power was out here Saturday (which she swore was gunshots, so she was on her belly in her apartment, calling the police). I'm politely smiling and nodding my way down the hall, thinking to myself, "What the hell is Seth going think of all of this when I tell him?" *sigh* I hate living here. I'm just so glad we're out in April.
I haven't done much of anything today. I still don't feel fully back to myself yet. I slept for shit last night, tossing and turning and waking up every couple hours. I found out the Trazodone is only $17.99 for 30 days, so Seth is picking it up on his way home. THANK GOD. Tomorrow I'll have things back to normal - I'm just too out of whack without proper sleep.
Now I think I'm off to clean this pile of garbage and papers off my desk before Elijah wakes from his nap.
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| Nyquil: Evil in a bottle |
[10 Nov 2004|01:36am] |
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 weird |
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music |
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Neil Diamond :) |
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Okay seriously...for the last two days, I have been on some strange trip and magically I snapped out of it tonight. I believe it all started with taking Nyquil before bed Sunday night. Not being able to have my usual sleeping medication, I was happy to have *something* that was going to put me to sleep. Little did I know it would completely screw with my brain. I was having all sorts of very strange dreams. The first set I remember involved living in the house we lived in when I was in high school. For some reason, I had an elephant with me at one point. (Maybe that's a symbol of me struggling with my memory?) I was in high school again; this time I was older, but most of my friends weren't. I had gone through my senior year several times and had not graduated. I hadn't been to hardly any of my classes due to illness, so I had none of my homework done, nor did I even know what was being taught. I felt sheepish and awkward walking through the masses of students in the halls, only to go to a class that I did not belong in. Eventually, I end up in some Dr.'s office or talking to some nurse, who is injecting painkillers into my arm. This time, however, I was out in the parking lot, looking for my car. Looking for my car happens to be a constant theme in a lot of my dreams. The car is not there, I don't have the keys for the car, the car doesn't start, or I don't have a car AT ALL. (The car symbolism I have all figured out already.) The dreams, interrupted occassionally by tossing and turning, continued all night.
The next day I felt like hell. Groggy, torn-down and exhausted. The heaviness of whatever was plugging my head was getting on my nerves, and it was also making me hard of hearing. There was always a faint ringing in the background. One minute I was hot, the next cold. Thinking that I would not be able to sleep Monday night, I downed another dose of Nyquil and went to sleep. This time, the dreams were more intense, the feelings I was experiencing were pretty real, and I thought I was having some sort of episode. I only remember pieces- the airport, small elevators I kept having to ride in - I mean, none of this was making a lot of sense. It just all felt scary, suffocating and I started to feel panicky. I woke up sweating and shaking, groggy as all hell, with Elijah yelling in the background for me to start his day. The rest of the day was a blur of breakfast, lunch and dinner followed by Seth taking Elijah out of the house so I could get some much-needed rest. It was only then, when I could take two seconds for myself, that I decided to take my temperature. I had felt a lot better today, and still had a temp of 101 F, so I figure if I had a higher fever the last two days, it could have contributed to the delusions and weird dreams, too. I took a few ibuprofen, swore off the Nyquil for the rest of my life, and settled down in the bedroom to watch TV. About an hour later, I felt a complete turn-around. I'm back to me again.
I have no idea what screwed me up so bad. I will never touch that evil green Nyquil again. Not only did it taste like licorice (YUK!) but it sure as hell took me for a ride that I don't ever want to ride again. I'm trying to figure out what the hell it was in it that made me goofy like that. Or was it the combination of the drugs and a high fever? Did the Nyquil interact with one of my prescriptions? They do caution you about that a lot, and I wouldn't doubt it. I just know not to go near the evil Nyquil again.
Now that I've bounced back, however, the issue still remains: what to do about my sleep. Do I try going back to melatonin? That gave me some crazy dreams, too. Maybe I can call my psych. and ask him if he has any ideas what to do about it. I'm sure he wouldn't like the fact I'm off my sleep meds. I really don't even know how much it is for 30 days. Oh WHO CARES? All I know is that I'm going to be up late as hell tonight.
I ordered Andrew's birthday present today. HEE ... ATHF
He will love it, I'm sure. Now what to get that kid for x-mas? I want to get him this life-size cutout of Freddy and Jason standing together, but it's $60.
I didn't go get my package today. I was still in the "Black Hole". I will go down there tomorrow. I'm still waiting on a few things I won on eBay and one thing bought on another site. Seth just bought a DVD set to help us with our Hebrew, so we said no more online spending for a while. We both know, though, that we can't stay away...hahaha...
Wheee...I can FINALLY get back to my life tomorrow!
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| mother nature is a tease |
[09 Nov 2004|12:51pm] |
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I can hear the show "Little Bear" on Noggin :) |
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It's really nice outside today. I could walk down to the office to get my stuff from qoutlet if I wanted. I will have to wait until Elijah is down for a nap - his stroller and carrier are in the back seat of the car, which is with Seth right now. The weather has been great lately, but they are saying the snow is coming soon. Ugh. Knowing my luck, it'll snow on my birthday. It does every year. *knock on wood*
I took a ton of pictures of BA's stuff yesterday and put some of it up for sale at iOffer. I don't think it's going to get many people looking at it over there, so it might be transferred to ebay soon. They let you list for free at ioffer - that's why I tried it first. Some people have a lot of luck selling over there, but I don't think it's for clothes.
I am STILL fighting to get over this cold. It had me down yesterday. Before I got sick, I told Seth I was going to stock up on that Zycam stuff that makes your colds less severe. Then, I got sick. :(
Nyquil makes you have crazy dreams. At least it does to me. I am NOT sleeping well, and something has to be done about it. Needless to say, the Nyquil will no longer be used.
My crabby baby
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| My Memory Problems |
[07 Nov 2004|04:35am] |
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I think I will need to come back and elaborate on what my illness has done to my memory. I think some people really think I'm stupid because I can't remember what I said/did/was 10 minutes ago. I'm one of those people that should have a notepad and pen hanging around their neck all the time so I don't forget stuff. I am extremely intelligent, I just have a horrible memory and the concentration of a 2 year old. Damn illness made me stupid and it gets on my nerves sometimes. I'll write a more lengthy explanation later when I'm actually not half as comatose as I am right now. ;)
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| okay my layout is tarded but oh well |
[07 Nov 2004|04:17am] |
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mood |
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need sleeping pills STAT |
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music |
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Bob Marley - Exodus |
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I can't figure out how to get this frigging thing the way I want it. *sigh* Oh well.
I am up so late tonight, and I'm only slightly tired. I haven't slept worth shit in the last two nights. I lost my health coverage on the first of the month, and I have two choices from here. Either A, I could go on my husbands healthcare, but it SUCKS and I don't even think they'll approve me with my pre-existing conditions, or B, wait 4 months and re-apply for my old coverage. Basically, me and my stupid memory forgot to send in my renewal and now I'm stuck without my sleeping medication. I have no idea how much a 30 day supply of Trazadone costs, but I don't want to spend over $10 for a prescription. So here I am, WIDE awake once again. If I lie down to try and sleep, it's horribly uncomfortable and I lie there awake anyways. Why not do something productive with the time, like oh say, play on the Internet? Dude it's 4:20 now - smoke 'em if you got 'em.
I got Seth's crappy cold. My head feels heavy and plugged, kind of foggy, and my throat is sore. Yet, it's a small cold. Nothing that's going to put me down for a while.
I have a ton of BA's clothes to sell and I have to take pictures of all of it later today, so I can give my Mom back her camera tomorrow. I'll be putting it up for sale on iOffer first, and if it doesn't go there, it's going on ebay. At least her good stuff should go on ebay.
I ordered a ton of great stuff from qoutlet. One item (a small cute thingy that I bought for Lisa for her b-day) was out of stock, so it took two days with all the emails back and forth about item substitution, before they would send my package out. So it got here yesterday, but I didn't get the mail until 10:30 PM when we came home from Bette's and the package is locked in the office until Monday. My postal worker is so damn lazy that he/she couldn't even walk it up a flight of stairs to bring it to my door. So my kawaii stuff is locked up until Monday! *sniff*
I am excited to do my holiday cards this year. A few more people on the list, some new kawaii x-mas stickers, and I gotta pick out some cute cards for all the girls. I wish I could afford to do picture cards for everyone, but I think it would run pretty high. We are doing picture cards of Elijah for the family. My poor baby hasn't been sleeping well lately, either. He might be getting more teeth.
I'm trying to think of how I'm going to keep myself stocked on meds for the next 4 months. I know I can call my doctors and see if they have samples to give me, or I can always go the poor route and ask for the freebies the drug companies do for poor people. Honestly, you can have a good income and still qualify, and I think we might be on the border. I may have to do this seeing as some of my medications are do or die.
Oh joy...time to go lie in bed and stare into the darkness until Elijah wakes up...
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